How to Overcome Insecurity

written by Princess R. Lakshman

Do you ever feel anxious, little or no confidence, or unsafe in your circumstances? Do you feel the need to depend on others for things or approval? Do you feel self-pity or that you need to prove your worth to others? If so, you could be feeling insecure.

Insecurity creates self-doubt and fear and cripples you from living a joyful, productive life. When you feel insecure, you resist total submission to ALLAH swt. You begin to believe in shaytan’s whispers that you are “not good enough” or that you “don’t have what it takes” or that you are a “fraud”. These negative whisperings not only create massive blocks in every aspect of your life, such as, relationships, finances, spirituality, to name a few, but also affect your mental health and holistic wellbeing.

For thirty-seven years of my life, I was a slave to shaytan’s whispers about my own insecurities. It had crippled me to the point where I would create situations to prove my worth. The saddest part about those years was that I was not a Muslim and I did not know how to handle feelings of fear, rejection, self-loathing, self-pity and self-doubt.

Insecurity stems from emotional hurt or pain that has not been healed. Instead of processing hurt and emotional pain, we tend to put on a brave face and slap on a big, padded band-aid over them. We become fearful of our own vulnerabilities by moving on with life carrying a load of unprocessed emotions. 

The way to process emotional hurt and pain is to identify what happened when it happened and who was involved. You may need professional help from a therapist to successfully identify these suppressed, or sometimes blocked, memories. Once you have identified them, you are then on the road to overcoming feelings of insecurity that are as a result of these memories.

Journaling or Writing Therapy is a great way to not only identify memories of hurt and pain but also process them and experience catharsis. Contact me if you wish to find out more about this therapy.

Strategies to Overcome Insecurity

Below are six typical situations which may cause feelings of insecurity. Try to practise corresponding affirmations to become aware of your insecurities and therefore overcome them.

Situation Affirmation
When people compliment others in front of me I am unique. ALLAH has blessed every creation with their own unique abilities. I am enough because I am ALLAH’s creation.
When I struggle financially ALLAH is Ar-Razak. Only ALLAH provides my sustenance. Everything I need, ALLAH provides immediately.
When I struggle with my body image ALLAH has blessed me with optimum health. I am a soulful being dwelling temporarily in this body. Every salah I pray, my body re-energises with faith and wellbeing. I am a beautiful creation of ALLAH.
When I feel I do not deserve compliments or monetary rewards for my efforts I am worthy of rewards. I work hard and ALLAH knows my efforts. HE rewards me for my efforts. I accept wholeheartedly whatever HE has ordained for me to receive as payment for my services.
When I feel I don’t have as much as my other friends or family members ALLAH provides me with comfort and ease. I accept wholeheartedly and gratefully all that ALLAH provides for me and my family. I embrace ALLAH’s abundant blessings in my life.
When I feel I lack skills or aptitude I have a mind with unlimited potential. ALLAH gives me knowledge, intelligence, reason and creativity. ALLAH helps me in every task I perform that is good for me and my deen.

Always remember, you are not your experiences. You are the FORCE that overcomes them.

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Photo by kilarov zaneit on Unsplash

 

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